5.19 But I'm a Gilmore

[Logan is sitting, reading a newspaper when there is a knock at the door]
Logan: Well this is a surprise.
Rory: Can I come in?
Logan: Sure. You want to sit down?
Rory: Nope. I gotta stay vertical. What?
Logan: You have like an octagon imprint on your face.
Rory: I cant do this anymore, Logan.
Logan: Do what?
Rory: This casual dating thing. I dont like it. Its not who I am, and I dont want to make it who I am.
Logan: Woah, woah, woah, hold on here. Where is this coming from?
Rory: Its coming from me, the ravishing creature standing in front of you.
Logan: We talked about this.
Rory: I know.
Logan: I didnt make you do this.
Rory: I know. Im not accusing you of anything, this isnt your fault.
Logan: I dont understand, I thought everything was going so well.
Rory: What are you talking about? I havent heard from you in a week.
Logan: I was busy, I had some friends in town, and...
Rory: You know what, it doesnt matter. You're not my boyfriend, you dont owe me any explanations. I just dont want to be one of the many anymore.
Logan: Oh, Rory. Come on.
[Lenny walks in]
Lenny: Hey, Logan. Cassandra's on the phone, she wants to talk to you.
Logan: Take a message.
Lenny: She's got a great accent, where is she from?
Logan: Lenny! Message!
Lenny: Sorry, man. Relax, geez.
Rory: Go call Cassandra back. We're done here.
Logan: How are we done here?
Rory: I said everything I have to say.
Logan: Which is what?
Rory: Im a girlfriend girl, Logan. I have boyfriends, not escorts.
Logan: Ahh....[starts pacing]
Rory: I thought I could be different, but I cant. Im sorry. Maybe we can go back to just being friends again.
Logan: [agitated] Or maybe we can be boyfriend and girlfriend, right?
Rory: What?
Logan: I get it. I get what you are doing.
Rory: Im not doing anything.
Logan: Hey, if thats what you want, just come out and say it, ok. But you come in here, and issuing an ultimatum....
Rory: I am not issuing an ultimatum.
Logan: Thats not what I heard.
Rory: I said lets be friends.
Logan: Thats not what you meant.
Rory: [groans] I need a taco.
Logan: Alright, fine. Ill do it.
Rory: Do what?
Logan: Be your boyfriend.
Rory: You cant be my boyfriend.
Logan: Why not?
Rory: Because you told me that you cant be my boyfriend.
Logan: If I say I can, I can.
Rory: You have a hundred girls on speed dial. You keep an extra bathrobe in your closet for overnight guests.
Logan: Thats all besides the point. You came in here to say you're unhappy with the situation, right?
Rory: Right.
Logan: Fine, Ive rectified the situation, problem solved.
Rory: No, problem not solved.
Logan: Hey. If I say I can do this, I can do this.
[there is a knock at the door, Logan opens it]
Girl: Hey Logan. I thought maybe I could get you to buy me some lunch.
Logan: Oh, geez....
Rory: Im sorry, could you excuse us for just a second, we're almost done here.
Girl: Sure, Ill just be out here.
[Logan closes the door]
Rory: So, the Swedish flight attendent should be by any minute.
Logan: I swear this situation has never happened before in my life.
Rory: Logan...
Logan: Rory. Do you really want to stop seeing me?
Rory: No, but I cant...
Logan: Because I dont want to stop seeing you.
Rory: Okay, but...
Logan: So just accept what Im saying. I like trying new things. This is new, its different, but I can do it.
Rory: Are you sure? [he kisses her] Well, I know you can do that, but... [he kisses her again] I really want to believe you.
Logan: Then believe me. We're starting fresh right now. New beginning. So, you want to go grab some lunch? We can hammer out the details.
Rory: I should probably change first.
Logan: Go home, change. Ill pick you up in half an hour.
Rory: [smiling] Okay.
Logan: See how well this is going? I think Im going to be an excellent boyfriend.
Rory: I agree. Now, do you want to go tell her, or should I?
Logan: Oh, crap. I'll be right back.

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Logan: How's that headache of yours?
Rory: Subsiding a little. The mashed potato/mac-n-cheese/biscuit gravy plate combo really helped a lot.
Logan: I have to say half the fun of being with you is the horrified looks on the waiter's faces.
Rory: Please, I'm an amateur compared to my mother.
Logan: So, what do you think? You up for a movie?
Rory: Oh, yeah, something really bad.
Logan: Absolutely. Let's check the paper and see if Rob Schneider's still employable. I think I have a paper...
Honor: Well, look how long you make a girl wait for you!
Logan: Honor!
Honor: Do you really think you're worth it?
Logan: What are you doing here?
Honor: Apparently begging for some affection. It is so good to see you.
Logan: You, too.
Rory: Listen, Logan, maybe I should go.
Logan: What? Oh, sorry. God! Rory, this is my sister, Honor. Honor, Rory Gilmore.
Rory: Sister? Really? Oh, well, it's nice to meet you.
Honor: It's nice to meet you, too.
Rory: Hey your sister's here! Cool!
Logan: So, what's the occassion?
Honor: Well, I had to see you and since you never check your email I had to drag myself down and beg Lanny to let me in so I could show you this.
Logan: Holy!
Honor: It happened last night.
Logan: Josh finally gave in, huh?
Honor: Oh, stop it. He's lucky I ever looked at him in the first place.
Logan: Well, congratulations.
Honor: Listen, I need a favor. I'm going to tell them tomorrow night at dinner and I need you there for support.
Logan: Come on.
Honor: Hey, I backed you up when you wanted to take a year off of school and sail around the world. I wired you the money when you sunk the yacht. I helped pay off the Indonesian coast guard.
Logan: Okay, okay, I give. I'll be there.
Honor: Oh, thank you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Okay, now I can breathe... and focus on you. [turns to Rory] Hi.
Rory: Hi.
Honor: I'm sorry. I'm totally blanking. Your name is...?
Rory: Rory. Rory Gilmore.
Logan: Yeah... Rory's my... girlfriend.
Rory: You okay over there? You need a little water? Or a... timemachine?
Honor: I'm sorry, did you say girlfriend?
Logan: Yes.
Rory: It's new.
Honor: [laughing] Oh, my God. I've never heard him call anyone his girlfriend before. Well... Alyssa Milano, but he was ten and in a weird "Who's the Boss?" phase.
Logan: Oh, wow, time flies when you're getting pushed out the door.
Honor: Okay, I'm sorry. [to Rory] Listen, you must come to dinner, too.
Rory: Oh, um...
Honor: No, really, come. Please come. It'll make it more festive and distracting.
Logan: We'll see.
Honor: Okay, fine. I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow night. Please don't be late.
Logan: I promise.
Honor: Bye Rory.
Rory: Bye.
Logan: And that is my sister.
Rory: I like her.
Logan: Yes, she's cool.
Rory: Listen, you do not have to take me to dinner tomorrow. It's a family thing. I totally understand.
Logan: No, you should come.
Rory: Logan.
Logan: Hey, boyfriends bring their girlfriends to their family's houses for dinner. It's natural.
Rory: How would you know?
Logan: I saw it on "Who's the Boss?" Now, let's find that paper.

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Rory: Wow!
Logan: Uh, Where are my keys? What did I do with my keys?
Rory: Just your parents live here?
Logan: Oh, I got them.
Rory: Well, I certainly hope the drainage is good.
Logan: Excuse me?
Rory: Because if its not good, and you have pooling somewhere, you may not know it for months.
Logan: I’ll be sure to mention that to them.
Rory: You look nervous.
Logan: Do I? Huh. Im just not so sure what I got you into to.
Rory: What do you mean?
Logan: Well, my family’s not going to take my sister’s engagement too well, and they can be a little vicious when annoyed.
Rory: Hey. Relax. You do not have to worry about me at all. Five years of Friday night dinners have prepared me for exactly this moment.
Logan: Really?
Rory: Remind me to tell you about the time my mom climbed out a second story window to get away from my grandmother.
Logan: (smiling) Ahh...I will. (Walk to the door) Okay...ready?
Rory: Ready.
(Honor answers)
Honor: You are late.
Logan: Fifteen minutes.
Honor: Well, its awful. A morgue. Its like they already know what Im going to tell them.
Logan: Well, you have been with Josh for three years now.
Honor: I don’t understand it. I called and told them that you were coming because that usually makes mom happy. And I told them that you were bringing Rory so they’d be on their company behavior, but from the minute Josh and I walked in that door, its been iceberg city. Josh is completely panicked...shaking..
Logan: Wow...sorry.
Honor: Don’t be sorry, just get in here...and stop it. (Walks back inside)
Rory (to Logan): Hmmm...Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her shirt with the rhinestone penis on it, and my grandma had her car towed. (They walk inside) Look at this ceiling!
Logan: Come on...
Rory: Have you seen this ceiling?!?!
Honor: Hurry!
(Walk into the sitting room)
Shira: Well, look what the cat dragged in.
Logan: Sorry we’re late, everyone.
Shira: Don’t worry, Logan. We’re still waiting for your father.
Logan: Hi, Grandpa. Nice to see you.(Shakes his hand)
Elias: Did you get those books I sent you?
Logan: I did. Thank you. (Makes his way across the room) Hey, Josh, its been awhile. You’re looking well.
Josh: You, too.
Logan: Everyone, Id like you to meet Rory Gilmore.
Rory: Hi, its really nice to meet you all. This house is amazing. Seriously, there should be a docent at the door.
Shira: Well, thank you....Rory.
Logan: You know Rory’s grandparents, Mom, Richard and Emily.
Shira: Yes, of course. How are Richard and Emily doing?
Rory: They’re doing very well.
Shira: Ah, thats wonderful.
(Awkward silence)
Rory: So, you were at the wedding, right?
Shira: Oh, Yes, we were. It was lovely. Emily certainly knows how to plan an event.
Rory: That she does.
Shira: I should send her a note.
Rory: Hmm... (Nods)
(awkward silence)
(Rory looks at Honor, who points out Josh, Rory waves at him)
Logan: Hey, grandpa. Can I freshen your drink for you?
Elias: Mm...hmmm...
Shira: Oh, Im sorry. Can we get you something, Rory?
Logan: I got it, Mom.
(Maid comes in and hands Shira a note)
Rory: Oh, Logan...I don’t think...
Logan: Its club soda, Ace.
Shira: Apparently Mitchum is still at the office, we might as well start dinner. So?
Honor: Come on, you’ll feel better when you have some food.
Josh: I’ll feel better when we’re leaving.
Honor: (to Rory) I am so sorry. We owe you one.
Rory: Is that a Valasquez?
Logan: Come on.
Rory: It is! Thats a Velasquez! This house is so cool!
(they walk to the dining room)


Logan: So, grandpa, hows the new boat?
Elias: It’s a boat. It floats.
Logan: I hear its beautiful. When are you going to let me take her out?
Shira: Now Logan, you don’t have the best track record when it comes to boats.
Logan: Only other people’s boats. Our boats are very safe.
Honor: We should do a summer trip. Maybe hit the Almalty Coast again. All of us, you, me, Rory, Josh.
(Elias slams down his fist)
Shira: Dad...
Elias: Maria! Its too hot. Bring me a salad
Shira: I’ll be right back.
(Honor makes a smoking gesture)
Rory: (to Logan) What?
Logan: Mom’s a stress smoker.
Rory: I don’t understand why everyone is so upset, Josh seems fine.
Logan: The Huntzberger’s arent interested in fine.
Elias: Shira!
Shira: Yes, Dad?
Elias: What time did Mitchum say he would be here?
Shira: I don’t know. He didnt say.
Elias: Well, this is ridiculous.
Shira: Please, Dad.
Elias: We’re all just going to sit around this table and pretend theres nothing going on?
Shira: Lets just wait for Mitchum.
Elias: There are serious matters to be discussed here. This is an important family, marrying into it is important business, but no, we cant discuss this until Mitchum gets here. (To maid) What is this? Go away.
Logan: Okay, Im sorry, I have to jump in here. Grandpa, we all respect you, and Mom and Dad. But the bottom line here, is Honor has to be happy. Now, if she loves Josh, then...
Honor: Logan, I appreciate you defending me, but I can take it from here. Mom, Grandpa, I had hoped you would be happy for me, but obviously that is not going to happen. You didnt even let me announce it to you before you formed your opinion. And Im sorry you feel the way you do, but Josh and I made it official last week, we’re engaged now. And no matter what you say we are going to get married...in June.
Shira: Well, of course you’re going to get married. You’ve been dating for three years, and I already put a hold on the Japanese Tea Garden for next spring.
Honor: Oh. Well, that sounds great, thank you.
Logan: So we should celebrate then.
Elias: We will celebrate when we have finished our discussion
Honor: Which discussion?
Elias: The discussion about unsuitable people marrying into this family.
Honor: What?
Shira: I’ll be right back.
Elias: You should know better than this Logan. I know you like to joke around and tease us, but I always thought, at the end of the day, you understood what your responsibilities to this family were.
Logan: Mom, I suggest you come back in here, right now!!!!
Shira: Logan, you just havent thought about this. I mean, Im sure Rory understands, she wants to work. Isnt that right, Rory? Emilys always talking about you wanting to be a reporter, and travel around doing this and that. A girl like Rory has no idea what it takes to be in this family, Logan.
Logan: Oh my God.
Shira: She wasnt raised that way, she wasnt bred for it. And this isnt at all about her mother. Its just...you come from two totally different worlds.
Elias: It would never work. Not for you, and certainly not for us.
Logan: Ok, this conversation is going to end right now. I am not going to sit here...
Elias: You will be taking over this company. That is what you are going to be doing. And when you do, you're going to need the right kind of person at your side. This isnt college, Logan.
Shira: And whatever happened to that Fallon girl. I loved her. Do you talk anymore?
Logan: No, we don’t talk. We never talked. You talked.
Shira: Oh, what a shame. I just loved her. [Logan gets up to leave, Rory follows] Logan, you have to understand. You bring this girl home, without any warning at all, and Honor tells us you’re calling her your girlfriend, we have to take that seriously. Logan, come back here!
Rory: I don’t understand.
Logan: They’re psychotic, what more is there to understand?
Rory: But...why don’t they think Im good enough?
Logan: Rory...
Rory: I mean....Im a Gilmore. Do they know that? My ancestors came over on the Mayflower.
Logan: Don’t try to analyze it, theres no rhyme or reason.
Rory: I had a coming out party. I went to Chilton, and Yale. And why are they okay with Josh? I mean, He didnt even say anything. At least I noticed the Velasquez.
Logan: Josh isnt marrying the heir of the Huntzberger fortune, you are.
[Mitchum walks in]
Logan: I got to get out of here.
Mitchum: Logan, perfect! Did I miss dinner? Is it some kind of precious fish dish, because Im dying for a steak. [looks at Rory] You’re Rory, I assume. I’ve heard a lot about you.
Logan: We’re leaving.
Mitchum: What? Why?
Logan: You know why.
Mitchum: I’ve had a long day, Logan. I don’t want to play games. Is dinner over?
Logan: No, the Huntzberger family shanghai is over. Dinner, however, is still going on.
Mitchum: Oh...ok, ok. What happened? Oh, no. Why is your mother smoking?
Logan: We have to go, Im sure they’ll fill you in on everything.
Rory: It was nice to meet you.

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[walking at Yale]
Logan: So, is it okay if I just drop you here?
Rory: Drop me here?
Logan: Your lights are on, Paris is home. I’ve had about all the crazy that I can take for one evening.
Rory: Okay...sure. You know we don’t have to go in, we can go get something to eat.
Logan: Im not hungry.
Rory: Okay
Logan:I just want to walk a little, clear my head.
Rory: Okay.
[he kisses her]
Logan: Ill call you later
Rory: Tomorrow?
Logan: Yeah, tomorrow [he walks away]

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Rory: Hey. Everything okay?
Logan: I'm sorry.
Rory: For what?
Logan: For just taking off like that. I just... this was a very intense evening for me.
Rory: I'm sure.
Logan: But taking off like that... I was overreacting and that's just stupid. So, forgive me?
Rory: There's nothing to forgive.
Logan: Come on grab your coat. I'll take you to get something to eat.
Rory: Okay. I'll be right back.