5.20 How Many Kropogs to Cape Cod?

(Knock at the door)
Rory: Oh, shoot! What time is it?
Paris: Its hammer time.
Rory: Its Logan. Hairbrush is down.
Paris; You got it.
Logan: Evening, Ace.
Rory: Hi.(They kiss)
Paris: Nice. Very nice.
Rory: Hey, do you want to see my room? Its far away from here.
Logan: Super idea.
(they walk to Rory’s room, and kiss again)
Rory: Hello.
Logan: Hello
Rory: What are you thinking about?
Logan: Whether or not you’ve ever woken up with Paris standing over you with a knife.
Rory: Not recently. She’s been in a good mood.
Logan: Whys that?
Rory: Because she’s in love.
Logan: With Doyle?
Rory: Yes, with Doyle. And do not mock or make fun. Because when Paris is happy, the whole world is happy. But when she’s not happy, the whole world is Deadwood.
Logan: Got it. Are you hungry?
Rory: Yes, Im starving. Just let me get my sweater. (Opens her closet) Hey, what do you think of this dress? Does it look newspaper-y enough?
Logan: What?
Rory: Im trying to figure out what to wear to my first day on the paper.
Logan: Ah...the internship rears its ugly head again.
Rory: I want to look professional, but not too Lois Lane-y. And I don’t want to look like a college kid.
Logan: You are a college kid.
Rory: Not on Monday. On Monday, I am a newspaper woman. And I have to look like a newspaper woman.
Logan: Whatever you wear will be fine.
Rory: Im so excited.
Logan: I can tell.
Rory: Last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I googled your father.
Logan: Excuse me?
Rory: 12, 053 items came up. I could only pull up a couple thousand, but it really helped. He was born in 1953, Episcopalian, second of four children, oldest boy, Yale undergrad, star of the track team, no grad school. Interesting. Then he had a couple of lost years, kind of a blank period. A little Jesus thing going on there. Worked as a reporter and editor for two of the Huntzberger papers, before taking over as CEO of the company.
Logan: Uh...
Rory: I mean, when you look at all his accomplishments, the man must never sleep.
Logan: Well...
Rory: Oh! Hmm....hmmm....four hours a night, just like Clinton.
Logan: You don’t have a wall in a secret room with pictures of my father pasted all over it do you?
Rory: Logan, Im going to intern for him. I need to know everything about him. Is he an egghead? Because he seems very roll up the sleeves-y. But he’s written about everything from foreign affairs, domestic policy. He had a wine column, for Goddsakes. I should learn more about wine.
Logan: Look, Rory...
Rory: What are his politics? He’s unbelievably neutral in his writing. Right wing? Left wing? Middle wing? Oh! The man was short listed for the Pulitzer for covering the Iran Contra Scandal when he was 25.
Logan: Yeah, I heard something about that.
Rory: 25. How did he do that? Especially considering his lost years. He’s a born journalist. I mean what does he read? What papers? What journals? Come on, tell me something.
Logan: He hates peas.
Rory: Logan, I need your help here.
Logan: Rory, my dad and I basically have two conversations. ‘Logan, you’re not living up to your potential’ and ‘Logan, when you’re sailing close hold, wait until you’ve gained that last bit of speed before you pull in the jib sheet’. That’s it.
Rory: But...
Logan: Ace, you’ve learned more about my father in one day, then I’ve learned in my whole life. Don’t worry you’re going to be fine. Now, I thought we’d established that we’re both starving.
Rory: Yes, we have lets go. Oh, wait. Your dad covered Haiti in 1985. Must learn more about Haiti. Got it, okay. Lets go. (Walks towards the door) Hey, have you ever discussed, Pinochet with him, because one time he wrote...
Logan: Peas, Ace. Peas.
Rory: Sorry. Got it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan: Hello?
Rory: Listen, you’re going to be getting a note from the Gilmore’s sometime soon. Maybe in the mail, maybe hand delivered tonight. For all I know, a carrier pigeon is headed for your room as we speak, you might want to open your window.
Logan: Why is a carrier pigeon heading here?
Rory: They want to have you over for dinner.
Logan: Oh....
Rory: They’re flipping out about it. She’s sending an apology for being so remiss as to wait one whole week since I had dinner at your house to extend an invitation. I mean, they’re losing it. So, Im calling to warn you, and I want you know that I didn’t suggest u shaving dinner with them, or encourage it in any way. And I definitely didn’t refer to you as my B-word in front of them, or even imply it, in any way, because you know, Im really happy with the way things have been going, and I dont want any pressure put on us. And Im sorry, and I think I already said that and thats it.
Logan: What are the odds of getting out of this?
Rory: Pretty much zero.
Logan: Then, lets do it.
Rory: Really?
Logan: Yeah, it wont be so bad.
Rory: Well, you are a true gentleman. (She hears a loud bang) Oh, my God! What was that?
Logan: Carrier pigeon. Poor thing, I should have opened the window.
Rory: Not funny.
Logan: Kinda funny.
Rory: Bye.
Logan: Bye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan: Hello?
Rory: Help, help, help!
Logan: Whats the matter, Ace?
Rory: Nothing, I’ve just won the spaz of the year award. I believe it will be on the front page of the Gazette tomorrow.
Logan: Im sure its not that bad.
Rory: I don’t know what Im supposed to do, I don’t know where anybody is, I cant walk in these shoes, I got a run in my panty hose...I ran into a file cabinet.
Logan: Slow down.
Rory: I didn’t even know if I was supposed to go to lunch when everybody went to lunch, so I just stood in the break room for, like, 45 minutes, and then I ate an Altoid.
Logan: It’s the first day. It will get better.
Rory: Your father must think Im an idiot.
Logan: Im sure he doesn’t.
Rory: I need some help. I need something to say to him other than, “yes, the bleeding stopped, thanks.”
Logan: Hey, I think that’s pretty good.
Rory: Logan, please. Give me something. Something I can use to connect with him.
Logan: I don’t know.
Rory: You do know. This is important to me, Logan, please.
Logan: (sighs) He likes jazz, but not when it gets too experimental, and hates when you quote my ‘Favorite Things’.
Rory: What?
Logan: My favorite things...from the Sounds of Music.
Rory: Ok, good...go on.
Logan: Uh, he lets people go at 7, but he keeps going until 8:30 or 9, and he notices the people who stay. He hates double talk, but he’s really good at it. And he has high blood pressure, so he switches to decaf after 4.
Rory: That’s good. That’s almost something.
Logan: Don’t worry, Ace. Im sure you’re doing fine.
Rory: I just don’t want your father to be disappointed in me.
Logan: Rory, in order for my dad to be truly disappointed in you, your name would have to be Logan.
Rory: Im sure thats not true.
Logan: Uh huh.
Rory: Thanks, Logan.
Logan: Go get ‘em, Ace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Logan goes to help Rory out of the car)
Rory: You know you’re not obligated to be polite until we’re actually inside my grandparents house.
Logan: Good. Allow me to use this moment in time, to make some disgusting sounds with my armpits.
Rory: Oh, would you? So, this is going to be quick and painless. Believe me, my grandparents like you better than they liked Ronald Reagan.
Logan: Wow. High Praise.
Rory: What are those?
Logan: Hostess gifts. Never a bad idea to bring hostess gifts.
Rory: Well played, Huntzberger.
Logan: So, what about your Mom? She going to be cool?
Rory: Of course she’ll be cool, she’s the essence of cool. Cool is her street name. She’s got it monogrammed on her towels, and everything.
Logan: Well, if she’s got it monogrammed on her towels, there’s nothing to worry about.
Rory: What did you bring, anyway?
Logan: Cigars for Richard, chocolates for Emily, and Mrs Eleanor Schubicks silver lighter.
Rory: Huh? Whats that for?
(Emily opens the door)
Emily: Rory...Logan...welcome.
Richard: Come in, come in.
Rory: Hi, Grandma.
Emily: Hello. And our guest of honor.
Richard: L’Innvite de honoeur
Logan: How are you, Richard...Emily?
Emily: Wonderful, now.
Richard: Yes, wonderful.
Emily: Oh, look at you two, you’re so perfect, arent they, Richard?
Richard: Perfect.
Rory: We’re not perfect
Emily: Nonsense, you’re perfect.
Logan: No, she’s right, I’ve got split ends like you wouldnt believe.
Richard: And a sense of humor.
Logan: Emily, these are for you, small token of my gratitude.
Emily: Wunderschon chocolates, I absolutely adore these.
Logan: I picked them up the last time I was in Switzerland.
Emily: Well, aren’t you clever?
Logan: And here’s a little something for you, Sir.
Richard: Oh, Romeo y Julietes. You are a good man, Logan Huntzberger.
Emily: Come, lets all go in the living room, shall we? I just adore this jacket you are wearing. Isn’t this a fine jacket, Richard?
Richard: Oh, I like how the lapels are cut. Aren’t these fine lapels, Rory?
Rory: Uh, sure Grandpa, his lapels look great.
Richard: Now, most modern tailors cut lapels too low. Its so sloppy having one’s lapels hang down around the chest like a basset hound’s ears, or something.
Emily: But those are excellent.
Richard: You know, they really are.
Rory: Hi, Mom.
Lorelai: Hey, how am I sitting?
Rory: Great. Um...mom you remember....
Emily: Logan, this is Rory’s mother, Lorelai. Lorelai, this is Logan Huntzberger.
Lorelai: Yes, we’ve met, actually. Nice to see you again, Logan.
Logan: Nice to see you.
Emily: Come on, sit, sit, sit. Lets get drink orders. Logan, what would you like?
Logan: McKellan neat, if you have it.
Emily: Oh, I adore a man who drinks his scotch neat.
Richard: That is a fine drink indeed.
Emily: Rory?
Rory: Just club soda.
Emily: So demure. Isn’t she demure?
Logan: The demurest.
Richard: One club soda.
Emily: And your usual, Lorelai? A side car?
Lorelai: A side car? No.
Emily: Isnt that your drink?
Lorelai: No, my drink is a martini, its always been a martini.
Emily: Really?
Lorelai: Yes. Pretty much every one of the other 8000 times I’ve had a drink here, its been a martini.
Emily: I would have sworn you were a side car girl.
Lorelai: Not even sure what’s in a side car, Mom.
Emily: Well, Richard, apparently, Lorelai would like a martini.
Richard: Can do.
Emily: I just cant get over those lapels.
Rory: Grandma and Grandpa are very taken with Logan’s lapels.
Lorelai: They look fine to me.
Emily: You’ll have to excuse Lorelai, Logan. It takes a certain eye to be aware of this kind of thing.
Richard: Here’s one Scotch neat, and a club soda.
Logan: Thank you.
Rory: Thanks, Grandpa.
Richard: And one, martini.
Emily: That with a twist, Lorelai?
Lorelai: Nope, an olive.
Emily: In a vodka martini?
Lorelai: Not vodka, Mom, gin. Its always been gin. Gin Martini.
Emily: Really?
Lorelai: Yes, always.
Emily: I don’t remember that at all.
Lorelai: Uh, so, Logan. Where do you live at Yale? Are you in Rory’s building?
Logan: No, Im at Berkley.
Lorelai: Is that far from Rory?
Logan: No, Id say its about 90 kropogs or so.
Richard: Huh! kropogs? Did someone say kropogs?
Emily: Kropog. Now, that is clever.
Lorelai: Fill me in here, what’s a kropog?
Logan: Years ago, people at Yale starting measuring things based on the height of a kid named Kropog
Richard: I cant believe today’s Elis are still saying kropog. Now, that is really something. Maxwell T. Kropog was his name. Class of ‘44. Oh, Lorelai. Im sorry, I forgot your drink. I made it, and everything.
Lorelai: Ah...well. You remembered now.
Emily: No, Richard, stay. I’ll get it.
Richard: Im glad to hear that kropog is still part of the Yale vernacular. Tradition is so important.
Rory: Why don’t we talk about something other than Yale?
Emily: Nonsense. There’s nothing better to talk about than Yale, because Yale men are the greatest. I dated a few Princeton men and a Harvard man back in my day, and they had nothing on Yale men.
Richard: They better not.
Emily: Here you go, Lorelai
Lorelai: Mom, there’s an onion in here.
Emily: Is that not what you wanted?
Lorelai: Olive. I said olive.
Emily: Well, I heard onion.
Lorelai: I said olive.
Emily: Let me get you an olive.


Emily: And the rackets have changed too. Honestly, the people at the club must have thought I showed up to play Badmitton when I showed up with my old wooden thing.
Logan: Ah, you have to get a new racket, Emily. The materials available today make all the difference.
Richard: I told her the same thing.
Logan: I know this guy. One of the top manufacturers in ceramic rackets. Pete Sampras loves him. I could totally set you up.
Emily: Did you hear that, Richard? Logan can set me up.
Richard: Now, how about that?
Beatrice: Dinner is ready, Mrs. Gilmore.
Richard: Well shall we?.
Emily: Im just going to pop in the kitchen and check on a thing or two. Richard, would you come and carve the roast?
Lorelai: Will there be any alcohol at dinner, Mom?
Emily: Excuse me?
Lorelai: You know, booze. Because I havent been able to get even a kropog of gin since that first drink.
Richard: A kropog is used to measure distance, Lorelai. Not volume.
Emily: And there will be wine with the meal. There’s always wine with the meal, Lorelai. Honestly, you're acting as if you’ve never been here.
Lorelai: Sorry. Just wasn’t sure.
Logan: Roast sounds good.
Rory: It does.
Lorelai: Yeah, who doesn’t like a good roast?
(they head to the dining room, Logan stops and takes Rory's arm)
Rory: What are you doing?
Logan: A little life and death brigade business. Every time we’re in a rich person’s house, I take a knick knack. Then I leave the knick knack I took from the last rich person’s house. I’ve been doing this up and down the eastern seaboard for years.
Rory: Logan, no.
Logan: Trust me, they never notice.
Rory: You’re crazy.
Logan: Its fun to be crazy.
(They go into the dining room)
Rory: Grandma will want us to sit here.
Emily: Alright, the salads will be out in just a moment. Everybody sit. Wait a minute.
Richard: What’s wrong, Emily?
Emily: Well, I don’t know. Wait. My antique sewing box. Its missing.
Richard: Well, that cant be.
Emily: It is. Its gone. Was it here during drinks?
Richard: I cant say that I noticed.
Emily: You, hovering there, what do you have to say about this?
Beatrice: Ma’am
Emily: My antique sewing box. Did you move it somewhere?
Beatrice: No.
Emily: And yet its not here. Do you have any explanation as to why its not here, Beatrice.
Lorelai: (from the dining room) Im sure its just a mix up, Mom.
Emily: And...whats this? Whats this lighter? Richard, is this from the pool house?
Richard: Well, I don’t recognize it. But, well, you never know. One of the guys might have left it after a poker game.
Emily: Well, Beatrice...I don’t know what to say. I almost feel like I should go through the whole house to make sure nothing else has been misplaced.
Lorelai: Mom, I found it.
Emily: However, we have company, and I don’t want to be rude, so lets leave it for later. And you and I will have a very serious discussion.
Lorelai: (holds her hand out to Logan, he gives her the box) Mom, I found it!
Emily: What?
Lorelai: Yeah, here it is.
Emily: Really? Where was it?
Lorelai: Behind the centerpiece, I guess the flowers kind of hid it.
Emily: Behind the centerpiece? (To Beatrice) what are you smiling about?
Beatrice: Im just glad you found it.
Emily: Would you please go into the kitchen and bring out the salad course. Rory, Logan, Im so sorry.
Richard: Well, never a dull moment, as they say.
Emily: Ah, here we go. Avocado salad with beet dressing.
Richard: Oh, wonderful. Im starving.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Logan: Believe me, Rory is the real star at the Yale Daily News. People hate her.
Emily: They hate you?
Rory: Im not hated. Am I hated?
Logan: Shes had more pieces printed above the fold this year, than anyone.
Richard: Well, you are both enormously talented. Because if you have one tenth of your father’s ability, young man. You will go straight to the top.
Emily: A power couple. Thats what you are.
Richard: We were thrilled to hear that Rory is going to be working with your father, Logan.
Rory: Im not really working with him, just near him, more like.
Logan: Shes knocking them dead over there. Now if I could just get her to relax.
Rory: I relax.
Emily: Speaking of relaxation, does your family still have their place on Martha’s Vineyard?
Logan: I think they bought it from Martha. They’re not giving that up. Its not going anywhere.
Emily: Its lovely in the Vineyard. A few years ago, Richard and I attended a wedding there. I thought there could be no more gorgeous a spot for a wedding.
Logan: Its beautiful.
Emily: But then we went to one on Cape Cod. And it was wonderful, too. Either place would be a good for a wedding, don’t you think?
Logan: Sure, I’ve been to weddings at the Cape myself.
Emily: So, you like Cape Cod?
Logan: Yes.
Emily: We like Cape Cod.
Logan: Great.
Emily: And I know Rory would love Cape Cod.
Rory: I like what I’ve seen in pictures.
Emily: You two would look awfully cute in Cape Cod.
Lorelai: Mom, did you get a job at the Cape Cod Chamber of Commerce?
Emily: No. (To Logan) There are a lot of kids in your family, arent there?
Logan: Yeah, the extended family’s been pretty busy procreating lately.
Richard: They have, have they?
Emily: Do you like kids?
Logan: Sure.
Emily: Kids love Cape Cod.
Lorelai: I think internships are a Communist plot.
Richard: What?
Lorelai: Forcing someone to work without pay? It’s a little pinko, isnt it? I mean, where’s Roy Cohn when you need him?
Emily: Have you lost your mind?
Lorelai: Nope...nope...still sloshing around up there.
Emily: Would you like another apple, Rory?
Rory: Oh, no thank you. They were really good, though.
Emily: How about you, Logan? Apple?
Logan: Thank you, but I don’t think I can eat another thing. And unfortunately, we should probably get going. I have an early day tomorrow.
Emily: An early day? Oh, Logan. Im so sorry we kept you.
Logan: I wish we could stay longer.
Emily: An early day is an early day. Beatrice, get their coats.
Logan: I had a wonderful time, thank you so much.
Rory: Yes, thank you, Grandma and Grandpa, it was great.
Emily: Of course. We had a wonderful time, too.
Rory: Bye, Mom.
Lorelai: Bye, hon. Good night, Logan.
Logan: Nice to see you, again.
Lorelai: Nice seeing you again, too. I hope we can all...
Emily: Lorelai, don’t keep them, Logan has an early day tomorrow.
Lorelai: Sorry.
Emily: Now, Im going to hold you to your promise about that tennis raquet.
Logan: Oh, absolutely. I’ll call you this week, or maybe I’ll just shoot you an email.
Emily: Shoot me an email, that is so clever.
Richard: That’s good business sense, too. You have to utilize the latest technology, or you’ll fall behind.
Emily: Now would you look at that. What a stunning little car. I adore sports coupes.
Richard: Fine parking job, too.
Rory: Well, Good-bye, Grandma and Grandpa.
Logan: Thanks again.
Emily: Good-night you two. Drive safe.