6.20 Super Cool Party People

[Rory arrives at the hospital, looking around, she goes to the front desk]
Rory: Excuse me, Im looking for Logan Huntzberger. [the nurse waves her away, she turns to another nurse.] Im sorry, can you help me...
Nurse: Sorry, this isn't my floor.
Rory: [yelling] Can someone here help me find Logan Huntzberger?!?
Nurse: He was just transferred out of the ICU. Room 713.
Rory: How is he?
Nurse: Are you family?
Rory: I'm his girlfriend.
Nurse: All I can tell you is that he's not conscious right now, and that he's in
serious bit stable condition.
Rory: What does that mean? Serious but stable?
Nurse: Just what it says.
Rory: But is it more serious or stable? I mean, which way is it leading?
Nurse: I'm sorry, but I can only release more information to family members.
Rory: But I'm his girlfriend. We've been together a long time, its not a
casual thing, we live together.
Nurse: Sorry.
[Rory walks towards Colin and Finn]
Rory: How is he? Is he okay?
Finn: Scuttlebutt is he's not dead.
Colin: The man is indestructable.
Finn: Dives head first off the cliffs of Caldera, instantly spins out of control
Colin: Gets totally disoriented, barely gets his shoot open.
Finn: Bounces over every rock and krag in the park.
Colin: Yet still manages to stick to landing.
Finn: We gave him a 9.7
Colin: Had to deduct 3/10ths for all the screaming and bleeding.
Rory: What about his family? Did you talk to them?
Colin: Honor is on her honeymoon, in Mykonos trying to get a flight back, and their mom checked herself into some sort of spa in Arizona the moment she heard.
Finn: When the going gets tough, the tough get hot rock massages.
Rory: What about Mitchum?
Finn: The Dark Lord? We left word but haven't heard anything back.
Colin: But we came up with a plan to get around the whole "only family gets
information" thing. We're adopting him.
Rory: What?
Finn: Logan will make a fine son.
COlin: But of course, we'll must be married.
Finn: Naturally, darling, I'm old fashioned.
COlin: Even then, adopting as a gay couple is never easy.
Finn: We just want to give love.
Colin: Oh, Finn...
Finn: Oh, Buttercup...
[Colin and Finn hold hands]
Rory: What the hell is wrong with you two?!? I mean, your best friend is lying unconscious in a hospital, and you dont even care!
Finn: Rory...
Rory: Why the hell aren't you two lying unconscious in there, huh?
Colin: Come on...
Rory: You don't care. Because if you did, you wouldn't be like this. You
couldn't. You're supposed to have his back, you're supposed to watch each out for each others on these stupid trips of yours! But no, everything is a big joke. Everything's hilarious. You're useless, just go home. Go home, I can't stand to look at you.
[Colin and Finn look ashamed as Rory storms away]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Rory walks in the room, to find Logan unconscious. She is in shock, when
the doctor walks in]
Rory: Hi.
Dr. Schultz: Hello.
Rory: I'm Rory Gilmore, I'm his girlfriend.
Dr. Schultz: Im Dr. Schultz.
Rory: Ummm...how is he? Is he going to be okay?
Dr. Schultz: I'm sorry, but I really cant get into the specifics.
Rory: Well, he's out of the ICU, so thats good right? They wouldn't have moved him up here unless he was recovering.
Dr. Schultz: Sorry, really.
Rory: He's had surgery, right? Does he need more surgery? Does he have
broken bones? Because I can donate blood if you want.
Dr. Schultz: Miss...
Rory: You really...you can't tell me anything about what he has, or what you've done, or whats wrong...or anything?
Dr. Schultz: I'm sorry, its hospital policy. We're doing everything we can.
Rory: Okay...
[he leaves, and Rory looks over at Logan]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Rory is sitting outside Logan's room, when she calls Paris]
Paris: What.
Rory: Paris?
Paris: Larry Summers is right, Rory. Our university system is crumbling,
did you know that?
Rory: Paris...
Paris: I just found out my microbiology final is an open book exam. Can you
believe that? I mean, why have us take the test at all? Why not just have
our professors take it for us? Or better yet, they can just hand us our
diplomas the moment we step on campus freshman year, along with some
government cheese, a bong, and a tshirt that says "Hard work is for suckers"
Rory: Paris. I'm at the hospital with Logan.
Paris: Why? What happened?
Rory: He and his buddies went on some stupid Life and Death Brigade trip,
and they parachuted off a cliff in Costa Rica, and he had a really bad fall.
Paris: Is he okay?
Rory: I dont know. Hes out of the ICU, so I guess thats a good thing. They
said he's in serious but stable condition. But they won't tell me anything else
because I'm not family.
Paris: Is he breathing on his own?
Rory: Yeah, I mean, I think so.
Paris: Well, What's his pallor? Was he peaked? Was there internal bleeding?
Rory: I have no idea. I quickly scribbled down some things off his chart.
You're pre-med, can I read it to you? Maybe you can
make some sense of it?
Paris: Forget it. I don't know how to read charts yet. I can tell you
everything you want to know about the difference between recessive and
dominant eye color genes in fruit flies, but God forbid I learn how to read a
chart before I'm a fourth year surgical resident.
Rory: Great.
Paris: What hospital is he in?
Rory: Columbia Presbyterian.
Paris: Who's the attending?
Rory: Paris, it doesnt matter. They're not going to give information to non family.
Paris: Just give me his name.
Rory: Dr. Schultz.
Paris: I'll call you right back.
Rory: Paris...
[Paris hangs up, and Rory sees the nurse agitated on the phone before giving
it to the doctor, who speaks in hushed tones. He hangs up, and Rory's phone
rings]
Rory: Hello?
Paris: Here's the deal. He was bleeding internally when they brought him in,
and they were worried about the oxegyn levels in his blood, but he's stablilized now, and they're back up to normal, so thats no longer a concern. He was also running a high fever, so they put him on mondo doses of intravenous antibiotics. He has a partially collapsed lung...
Rory: Oh my God!
Paris: Six broken ribs, a broken ankle, torn cartilige in both knees, and a
severe concussion. He had surgery for the lung, and that went well. They
did a thoracoscopy which is a couple of small incisions in the chest, and
they put a tube into the lung, to drain the fluid from the paral space
so the lungs could expand. That's way less invasive than a thoracotomy, which is a similiar operation, but for that one they have to butterfly you like a
shrimp, and thats it.
Rory: So what does this mean?
Paris: It means he's out of immediate danger. He's young, and healthy, and
they expect him to make a full recovery.
Rory: Really? Like, a full recovery? Like...he's going to recover...fully?
Paris: That's what the doctor told me. He'll need some rehab. He won't be
running, dancing or jumping off a cliff anytime soon, but yeah. He should be
fine. He's a very lucky guy. He could have died, those guys are idiots.
Rory: Wow.
Paris: Yeah
Rory: Thank you so much for this. Really, Paris. Thank you.
Paris: It was fun. Anything else?
Rory: No. I feel alot better.
Paris: Call if you need anything else
Rory: I will.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Lorelai is with Michel at the Inn when the phone rings]
Lorelai: Hello.
Rory: Its me.
Lorelai: Hey! How is he?
Rory: Well, I'm told he's going to be fine, but he looks awful, and he's been unconscious the whole time I've been here. It's really scary.
Lorelai: Awww....what happened?
Rory: He basically jumped off a cliff, and his parachute barely opened.
Lorelai: Oh my God!
Rory: Yeah. He has six broken ribs, a collapsed lung, a broken ankle,
contusions over a third of his body and a concussion.
Lorelai: Wow. Who else is there, what other family?
Rory: Well, Colin and Finn were here for a while but none of his family is here.
Lorelai: How did you get all that information? I thought they only allowed family members to-
Rory: Paris
Lorelai: God love her.
Rory: I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. I got you messages, I've just been so overwhelmed.
Lorelai: I'm just glad to hear from you. Is there anything I can do? Anything you need? It's been awhile since I've sent out a care package. You could be up to your eyeballs in Mad Libs, Silly String, malted milk balls...
Rory: No, I'm good. Colin and Finn went back to New Haven to get some stuff for me. I think I'm going to just hang out here for a while.
[Nurse approaches Rory.]
Nurse: Logan is awake, if you want to see him.
Rory: Oh, Mom, Logan's awake.
Lorelai: Ok, call me if there is anything you need.
Rory: Thanks, bye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Rory walks into Logan's room]
Rory: Hey
Logan: (smiling) Hey.
Rory: You're awake.
Logan: Or hallucinating...pretty good hallucination.
Rory: (sighs in relief) Ah, you're awake.
Logan: I must look like crap.
Rory: Well, now I know why you never let me see you without your make-up on.
Logan: I guess maybe base jumping with very little preparation wasn't the
hottest idea
Rory: But you're going to be fine. You're going to make a full recovery.
Logan: Hey, RoboCop made a full recovery, look where that led him.
Rory: This is the best hospital in the city, and the best hospital in New
York City is basically the best hospital in the country. And that's basically
the best hospital in the world, so all in all you're in the best place you
could be, all things considered. [he tries to sit up] Hey, what do you
think you're doing? Lay down.
Logan: I'm really sorry about this.
Rory: It's okay.
Logan: No, it's not okay. I was showing off. I knew it wasn't safe on that
cliff, and I was so drunk, I was lucky to pull my shoot at all.
Rory: But you're going to be fine, and I will be here as long as you want
me to be. I've already located the good gift shop, and good cafeteria...
good being a relative term. And the maternity ward, in case I want to play
a little practical joke, swap the newborns around.
Logan: What about the paper? School?
Rory: I have my laptop, I can stay on top of my schoolwork. And Bill can
run the paper for awhile.
Logan: I don't want you to fall behind and miss too many classes. You've
already have enough to do without having to sit here and...
ROry: Logan, just relax. Get some rest. Il'l be here.
Logan: I'm glad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Rory is on the phone with Honor]
Rory: I hate that your cutting your honeymoon short.
Honor: It's okay. With mom flaking out, I don't want to be here anymore.
We've got seats on a flight going out tonight, but its got a five hour layover in Ankora, so we're still trying to find something more direct. Either way, we should be there sometime tomorrow night.
Rory: Okay. So have you heard anything more from your dad?
Honor: Yeah, I just talked to him.
Rory: So, is he coming down here?
Honor: Nope.
Rory: He's out of town, too?
Honor: No, he's home. He's just not coming.
Rory: What?
Honor: Its the whole Life and Death Brigade thing. He's very against it.
ROry: But he was in the Life and Death Brigade.
Honor: Yes. But he feels he knew when to grow up and accept responsibility, and that Logan doesnt. He wanted his precious boy done with that by now, so he's boycotting.
ROry: He's boycotting his injured son? Logan had emergency surgery.
Honor: Hypocricy runs very deep in the Huntzberger family. Anyhow, forget
it. I'm sure Logan isn't expecting him. Okay, so I'll call later when I have
more flight information?
Rory: Okay. Bye.
[hangs up and takes out Logan's phone, dialing a number]
Rory: Mitchum Huntzberger? Yes. Its Rory Gilmore. I just thought I'd call
and remind you that Logan is lying in a hospital bed with a partially
collapsed lung, and a whole host of other potentially life threatening
injuries. And I'm figuring, a guy like you, surrounded by nothing but
a bunch of terrified sycophants might not have someone in his life with the
guts to tell him what an incredibly selfish, narcissistic ass he's being.
So, I thought, I'd jump on in. Swallow your pride, get in your car, and come
down here, and see your SON, now!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Rory walks into Logan's hospital room]
Rory: Hey.
Logan: So my dad just left.
Rory: I saw.
Logan: I can't believe he actually visited. And he was only moderately
hostile, slightly condescending and no more self-centered than usual.
Rory: Well, its good that he came. Good for him. You feeling any better?
Logan: I am. Of course, that could have something to do with the 27
different medications they have me jacked up on.
Rory: I checked with the doctor. Its mostly cough syrup and baby aspirin.
Logan: What's wrong? I'm feeling better. [Rory looks away] What?
Rory: Im sorry.
Logan: About what?
Rory: About letting you go on this trip. I should have stopped you. I was
just so busy being mad at you, I didnt think I was trying to punish you, but I was trying to punish you.
Logan: No, Rory.
Rory: I should have stopped you.
Logan: Hey, you couldn't have stopped me. A team of psychiatrists with tranquilizer guns couldn't have stopped me. I was going no matter what. Its my fault. Do not feel guilty about this.
Rory: I just sent you out that door. I didn't even care. I was so cold. I
just...I could have lost you.
Logan: You didn't lose me.
Rory: But I could have, though.
Logan: Look, I'm the one screwing things up with us here, not you. I'm sorry
you're in the hospital right now. I'm sorry about all of this. I don't know
what is going on with me, but I'll get better. Okay? Things will calm down, I just need you to bear with me, okay? Okay?
Rory: Okay.
[Rory hold his hand, and runs her other hand through his hair. Logan smiles
at her]

6.18 The Real Paul Anka

[Rory is getting dressed at Logan's apartment]
Logan: Hey you.
Rory: Hey.
Logan: Did you get in late last night?
Rory: I was studying.
Logan: Hmmm....I missed my class this morning.
Rory: Bummer.
Logan: Clock didn't go off, I thought I set it right.
Rory: Oh, I reset it. I had to catch up on some sleep. I didn't know you set it for early.
Logan: Its an honest mistake.
Rory: Maybe we should get a second clock.
Logan: Might be wise. So will you be available to grab a bite later?
Rory: Maybe.
Logan: Can't see that far into the future?
Rory: Its crazy right now.
Logan: I'll check in with you later.
Rory: We'll see how it goes.
[Rory goes to leave, and Logan reaches for her arm, kissing her]
Logan: Have a good day.
Rory: You too. [she leaves and Logan looks less than happy]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Rory is walking around the newsroom, and stops at Paris's desk looking at a large jar]
Rory: Uh...Paris? What's going on here?
Paris: I just need ten more minutes. I took a 'delete boring answers path' on my interview with Professor Whittington, and ended up with a tidy 16-word piece. His wife must want to suck a tailpipe every night. I'm putting stuff back in now.
Rory: I meant with the big jar of disgusting insects?
Paris: Oh. They're fruit flies. I'm finishing an important paper on population genetics, and I have to monitor how often Drosophilia Molanagaster do the nasty.
Rory: Gross!
Paris: Complain to God, not me.
Rory: Well, did you have to bring them into the newsroom?
Paris: Well, I can't leave them home. They could escape and infest my apartment.
Rory: Meaning they could escape and infest the newsroom.
Paris: At least no one sleeps in the newsroom, and if they bring food, and flies get in the food, maybe thats how they learn to swallow the no food in the newsroom rule.
Rory: We don't have that rule.
Paris: We should.
Rory: Get them out of here.
Paris: I need nine minutes.
Rory: Paris....
Paris: Eight and a half. Come on, you want the interview, I gotta keep typing.
Rory: Ok, nine minutes.
Paris: Thanks.
[Logan walks up to Rory]
Logan: Hey, Chief, you got a minute?
Rory: Umm...a minute.
Logan: I'm a little confused about something.
Rory: How can I help?
Logan: I was working on a piece about textbook prices, you assigned it to me a couple of weeks ago.
Rory: Uh huh.
Logan: It wasn't going to earn me my Pulitzer, but I already put alot of work into it, and I just checked the server and noticed that a piece on the same topic has already been written.
Rory: Yes, it has been.
Logan: Our wires get crossed?
Rory: Nope.
Logan: Who wrote it?
Rory: I did.
Logan: Why?
Rory: Its topical, it effects every student. Its an important story, I wanted to be sure that it would get done.
Logan: It wasn't due for two more days.
Rory: I didn't think you'd make the deadline.
Logan: Based on what?
Rory: Based on past performance
Logan: Past performance is no indication of future performance
Rory: Wise men call that a sucker's maxim.
Logan: I did alot of research on this thing. I interviewed textbook publishers, I interviewed authors, I was going to get more quotes from students.
Rory: I know. I used your research alot of it came in handy.
Logan: Really?
Rory: The stuff that I could make sense out of.
Logan: Good.
Rory: Look, you'll get your byline if thats what this is about.
Logan: You know thats not what this is about.
Rory: I thought I was doing you a favor.
Logan: Everyone knew I was assigned that piece, and now they know its been taken away from me.
Rory: Logan, I'm sorry. Its as you said, our wires got crossed. It happens, let's move on.
Logan: Ok, we'll move on. [notices Paris' jar] And whats with this?
Paris: Keep walking, Whitey.
Logan: You let fruit flies in the newsroom?
Rory: Its not hurting anybody.
Logan: Its disgusting.
Paris: I just need five more minutes.
Rory: Don't rush, Paris. [to Logan] The fruit flies are not hurting anybody. And Paris, is working on something that I am waiting on. I would prefer it, if she werent interrupted.
Logan: Sorry, Paris. [he walks away]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Rory gets back to the apartment, to find Logan there with Colin, Finn and Robert]
Logan: The bottle is dry.
Colin: You cannot be out of Wild Turkey.
Logan: I've got everything else under the sun. Pick one and stop your nagging.
Colin: YOU cannot be out of Wild Turkey.
Logan: No matter how many times you tell me I'm not out, doesn't change the fact that I'm out.
Finn: Hands! [shoots a poolball]
Robert: Jerk.
Rory: Hi, everyone.
Colin: Hey, Rory. Get yourself a drink, anything but Wild Turkey.
Rory: I'm ok.
Logan: Yeah, forget it. She doesn't drink on school nights.
Rory: I sometimes do.
Colin: I'm getting a sense that the woman of the house had no idea we were going to be here.
Finn: Ok that we're here, love?
Logan: Of course its okay.
Finn: Logan, I haven't called you love since that sultry night in Bimini.
Rory: Its fine that you're here, guys. You're always welcome. What's with the maps?
Colin: Graduation is imminent, Rory. So, we are planning the ultimate Life and Death Brigade event.
Finn: Not only the ultimate, but the penultimate.
Colin: Penultimate means next to last, Finn. This is the last one.
Finn: I thought it meant super-ultimate.
Robert: How did you get into Yale?
Finn: Slept with the recruiter.
Rory: So, what's the stunt?
Colin: We're flying on a twin engine plane, to a remote spot in Costa Rica, we don parachutes, and base jump off a cliff whose height is....
Robert: Exactly 36 hundred and 24 feet...unless thats a two.
Colin: We land on the banks of the San Juan River.
Finn: Hopefully not in the river.
Robert: Or on the Nicaraguan side of the river.
Logan: Or in Panama.
Colin: We inflate a raft, white water three miles down to a meeting point, where a blow out party will take place.
Robert: Its a two, gents. I'm pretty sure its a two...or an eight.
Rory: Where do you get the inflattable rafts?
Logan: One of us will parachute with it in our packs.
Finn: Not me, I've got the DVD player.
Colin: Not me, I've got the champagne and the bong.
Robert: If I take it, it will crush the cigars.
Logan: Stand down, boys. I'll jump with the raft.
Rory: You're planning this all very carefully, right?
Colin: Luckily, we've got a topographical map expert in our midst.
Robert: Its a three. Im 90% sure.
Rory: Why don't you make extra sure you have the right number there, Robert?
Logan: Hey, let the man do his thing.
Rory: Well, I would, if the man doing his thing werent drunk, and hadn't forgotten to put on his reading glasses.
Robert: Oh my God! I'm not wearing my glasses.
Colin: They flew off when you did that impression of the old guy getting shot by Dick Cheney.
Rory: Who's flying this twin engine airplane? And who's supplying the parachutes? I mean, there must be a weight limit to make that jump, right? Do you guys know what the weight limit is?
Logan: So, you just came home to piss on the fun.
Rory: No, I came home because I live here.
Colin: You know, guys, maybe we should resume our planning another time.
Logan: Yeah, I guess maybe we should.
Robert: I'll never be able to refold these.
Colin: Just grab them, and lets go, Robert.
Finn: Okay, if I return this another time?
Logan: Sure.
[the guys leave]
Rory: Go with them, if you want.
Logan: Is it your life mission to embarass me at every opportunity you get?
Rory: Its Robert, Colin, and Finn, Logan. I've seen them all dance naked with their underwear on their heads. There's no embarassing you in front of them.
Logan: Well, you embarassed me tonight.
Rory: How? By pointing out that the stunt your planning doesnt exactly sound safe?
Logan: Its called the Life and Death Brigade, Rory.
Rory: Yeah, and aren't you supposed to avoid the death part?
Logan: This is not your business. And why aren't you at the paper? You're always at the paper this time of night.
Rory: I finished early.
Logan: How? Did you delegate a little? Let people actually write their own articles?
Rory: Thats old news.
Logan: Its not old news. You knew that would embarass me, and you didnt care.
Rory: Please!
Logan: Even when we're together, you're someplace else. You leave, and you don't kiss me good-bye, we're at dinner, and you're on your cell phone the whole time. You never leave notes anymore, about where you're going to be, so I have no idea where you are. You haven't forgiven me.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Logan: For the girls I was with when we were seperated.
Rory: I said I forgive you.
Logan: Yeah, you said it, but you haven't, though. You haven't! I'll be at the pub.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Rory comes into the living room where Logan is packing]
Logan: I guess I'm going.
Rory: Okay.
Logan: I'll be out of cell phone range for a couple of days.
Rory: I know.
Logan: I'll see you.
[he leaves]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Jess walks up to Rory]
Jess: You don't have to read it again.
Rory: I know I don't.
Jess: There are so many thing I would change in it.
Rory: Like what?
Jess: I'd keep the back cover, everything else goes.
Rory: You know why I love your book?
Jess: Why?
Rory: It doesn't remind me of anything. Its not a rip-off. Its just you.
Jess: High praise, Miss Yale Editor.
Rory: Well, I don't get to write as much as I would like. Im mostly assigning, and motivating, hand holding, rewriting...
Jess: And you love it, every minute of it. Come on, tell me you don't.
Rory: I do. I do love it. Its exciting.
Jess: You look happier than when I saw you last.
Rory: I am.
Jess: So, you fixed everything?
Rory: Yeah, everything's fixed.
Jess: I'm glad you're here.
Rory: Me, too. [Jess slowly leans in to kiss her, as he deepens the kiss she pulls away]
Jess: What?
Rory: I'm sorry.
Jess: About what?
Rory: About coming here...like this. I just got the flier, and I don't know, I just wanted to see your place. But then, this...its not fair to you, God, I'm such a jerk.
Jess: What are you talking about?
Rory: I couldn't even cheat on him like he cheated on me.
Jess: Who? Who cheated on you? That guy? You're still with him.
Rory: Yeah.
Jess: I thought everything was fixed.
Rory: Everything but him.
Jess: I hate this.
Rory: You should. I'm sorry.
Jess: You came here, alone...to Philadelphia.
Rory: He was out of town.
Jess: I don't deserve this, Rory.
Rory: No, you don't. You don't deserve it. I just...I'm in love with him. Despite all the bad he's done, I can't help it. I'm in love with him.
Jess: Love, huh?
Rory: Yeah.
Jess: I guess I'll call Matthew's poet and have him explain love to me. They know all about it, right?
Rory: They're supposed to. Well, I guess I'd better go.
Jess: Okay.
Rory: I'm so sorry I came here.
Jess: I'm not. It's what it is. You...me. Where'd you park?
Rory: I'm right outside.
Jess: Hey! If it makes you feel better, you can always tell him that we did something.
Rory: Thanks, Jess. [she leaves]

6.17 I'm Ok, You're Ok

Rory and Paris are sitting on the couch, eating Chinese food]
Paris: I say we repaint.
Rory: Did you ever paint?
Paris: No. Doyle doesnt believe in improving someone else's property.
Rory: Men!
Paris: Yeah, men.
Rory: Well, [i]we[/i] will repaint.
Paris: A new color scheme for a new era.
Rory: I'll eat to that.
Paris: This is going to be great. You and me in a freshly painted apartment, no men, just lots and lots of Chinese food.
Rory: We are going to get huge.
Paris: Its okay. We'll get a treadmill.
Rory: Yeah, You always wanted a treadmill.
Paris: I did. But Doyle thought 'why get a treadmill when you can walk outside?'
Rory: With all the murderers and rapists.
Paris: Thats what I would say. Im glad you're back.
Rory: Me too. You know Paris, Im really sorry about the whole editorship thing.
Paris: Its okay.
Rory: I didnt lobby for the job, I mean...I swear, I had no idea.
Paris: Forget it. I mean, who are we kidding? I am not cut out to deal with people. I was made to be in a lab or an operating room, or a bunker somewhere with a well behaved monkey by my side. Im sorry, too. You know, for throwing you out.
Rory: Consider it even.
[there's a knock at the door]
Paris: Did we actually order that pizza?
Rory: I thought it was just discussed.
Paris: Who is it?
Logan: Its Logan.
Rory: I dont want to talk to him!
Paris: I got it.
[Paris opens the door, but keeps the chain on]
Paris: Well, well, if it isnt New Haven's favorite whorehound.
Logan: Is Rory here?
Paris: Yes.
Logan: Can I talk to her?
Paris: No. You can talk to me. [she unchains the door] What do you want to talk about? Life, love, common symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases?
Logan: Rory...
Paris: Rashes, sores, insanity...
Logan: Five minutes, please!
Paris: You know, there are a few things Ive always wanted to say to you, but out of respect for my friend, Rory, here, Ive refrained. However, the circumstances seem to have changed.
Logan: You dont know what you're talking about, Paris.
Paris: I know you cheated on Rory.
Logan: I did not cheat on Rory!
Paris: Are you going to deny it? Are you serious?
Logan: We were apart!
Paris: Oh, please!
Logan: We were! We werent together. Why the hell am I arguing with you? I dont want you back.
Paris: You, Logan Huntzberger, are nothing but a two bit, spoiled waste of a trust fund. You offer nothing to women, or the world in general. If you were to disappear off the face of the earth tomorrow, the only person who would miss you is your porsche dealer.
Logan: (to Rory) Want to chime in here?
Rory: No. I think Paris has got it covered.
Logan: Ok, thats it. [pushes past Paris]
Paris: Hey!
Logan: Rory, I just need sixty seconds.
Rory: Go away, Logan.
Paris: No one invited you in. Get out right this second, before I go Bonaduce on your ass.
Logan: Im not going away, Im not going anywhere. We're going to talk.
[Doyle walks in]
Doyle: What the hell is this door doing unlocked?
Paris: What are you doing here?
Doyle: I want to talk to you
Paris: I told you to go.
Doyle: You did, and I did. I left, and went out and got drunk, and I thought about why I left and why I got drunk, and I realized that you are wrong.
Paris: I am not. And what are you wearing?
Doyle: Dont change the subject!
Logan: (to Rory) Can we go in the other room?
Doyle: We're supposed to be together, Paris. You know it, I know it, and your life coach knows it!
Paris: Terrence has been wrong before. When I wanted to get the page boy haircut, remember?
Doyle: Paris, listen to me. I am the best thing that ever happened to you.
Paris: Well, if thats true, then its all uphill from here.
Doyle: You know, I didnt have to come back here begging for you to talk to me. I have options.
Paris: Right.
Doyle: I do! In fact, I almost hooked up with a really hot chick tonight.
Rory: I dont see how thats going to help your case, Doyle. At all. (to Logan) You know what, fine. Lets take this out into the hall.
Paris: You could have hooked up with a hot chick?
Doyle: Yes.
Paris: In rhinestone buttons? Who was it Sheila E?
(Rory and Logan go out into the hallway)
Rory: Two minutes. Go.
Logan: Look, I understand that you're upset, and I really wish that you hadnt found out like that. But Rory, I love you. You know that I love you. When I said that I was your boyfriend, I agreed to be faithful to you, which, by the way, was a first for me. And I thought it would be hard, but it wasnt. Then I asked you to move in with me. I asked you to move in with [b]me[/b], and I thought that was going to be hard, but it wasnt. I have been completely faithful to you, Rory. I have not been with another girl, I have not looked at another girl, I have not even thought about another girl.
Rory: Except for Walker, Alexandra...
Logan: We were broken up, Rory.
Rory: No, you were.
Logan: I thought we were broken up, I thought thats what the fight was. I thought thats what the seperation was. Do you believe me? Do you believe that I honestly thought we werent together?
Rory: I guess....
Logan: So then, if you believe that. That I thought we werent together, then in my mind, I was not cheating on you.
Rory: I guess.
Logan: So then, if you believe that in my mind I was not cheating on you, do you think you can forget what those vipers said today, put it behind you, and just come home with me? Come on, Rory. Just come home with me, lets forget this crappy day ever happened. Just go home. Do you want to make a pro/con list?
Rory: Do not mock my pro/con lists!
Logan: I am not mocking you pro/con lists. I actually think the list will come out in my favor.
Rory: Well, Id have to tell Paris Im going.
Logan: Absolutely. Tell Paris you're going.
Rory: (opens the door) Woah!! Oh!
Logan: What?
Rory: They made up. Either that, or Krav Maga is way kinkier that I thought it was.
Logan: Well, you can tell her tomorrow. After all, it is tomorrow.
Rory: Yeah, I can just call her from home.
(Logan takes her hand]
Logan: We okay?
Rory: Yeah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Rory walks into Logan's apartment]
Logan: Where the hell have you been?
Rory: Oh, I went to Stars Hollow to visit my mom for a couple of days.
Logan: You went to Stars Hollow?
Rory: Yup.
Logan: You could have told me, Ace. Left a note, called, something.
Rory: Yeah, I know, I should have.
Logan: I mean, I wake up, and you're gone.
Rory: I didnt mean to freak you out.
Logan: I kept calling your cell. I must have called it a hundred times,
Rory: Oh, yeah. Well, my cell died, and my charger was here, of course. I have to buy an extra one, you keep telling me that.
Logan: Finally, I check in with the paper, and they told me youve been emailing stuff, so at least I knew you were alive.
Rory: I am so sorry, it just became this whole thing. My grandparents stopped by unexpectedly, which took forever. And, anyhow, its a long story, it wont happen again. I should take a shower.
Logan: Rory.
Rory: Yeah?
Logan: You sure everything's okay?
Rory: Yeah, fine.